It Started With Daffodils, or, The Danger of Furniture Polish

It all started with the damn daffodils. They are in full bloom in front of my house, those cheerful blooms of spring happiness, and I wanted to put some in a vase inside so that I could enjoy them.

Unfortunately, the coffee table was not only terribly cluttered, but also unspeakably dirty, and I knew that I couldn't enjoy the flowers without cleaning the table. So out came the windex (for the glass panes on top), and the sponge and water, and the toothpick (for getting the gunge out of the many many many cracks and crevices), and I went to work. Cleaned the whole damn thing as close to spotless as it's every going to get, and then I remembered: furniture polish. We got a can of spray furniture polish when we bought the living room set, and it seemed like the perfect time to actually use the stuff.

A few minutes later, my coffee table was stunning - shiny and clean as the day it arrived. Which is a good thing, right? Except that the glow from the coffee table only highlighted the dust and grime on the bookshelves in the living room. Suddenly, I felt compelled to make them glow like that...so that the daffodils would look right, dontchaknow.

Now, our living room (hell, our whole house) is largely decorated with bookshelves full of books. Big, Tall Bookshelves. Lots and Lots and Lots of books. Which made the project of making their woodwork glow like the coffee table a bit daunting, but oh man did they look great when I was done!! Too bad they were right next to the dustygrimy tv table and cabinets and cd holder...

I'm sure that you can see where this is going. I literally went crazy with the furniture polish. I sprayed every wood surface I could find with the stuff (including bay window and all wooden knickknacks) and managed to use fully half a can of it in the living room alone. I probably would have done the floor with it too if it hadn't specifically said on the can not to do that. It was crazy. I even ended up cleaning all the couches and chair, the outside of the fish tank, and the freakin baseboards, just to make the rest of the room match the beauty of the wood.

All in all, I spent 6 straight hours cleaning the living room top to bottom before I had it clean enough for those stupid flowers. But they look GREAT on my coffee table, and damn my living room glows!!!!!